I chose to express it, totally!

Ok! Everyone knows this but can I take a moment and rant about it. Just because it's my moment and I chose to write about it. Just to vent it out?

No, it's not about politics. It's not about a fight or an argument. It's about a woman and her rush of extreme emotion of thoughts in her time of period.

On a normal day when I see my brother eat, I don't cry. I just feel he's born to eat, khaata peeta bacha hai..that's it. But this weekend, we were all together, me, my sister, brother and his gf and my husband. Desi family unions, you know all we do is eat. I ate too..to an extent and everyone did. But seeing my brother eat, I got very emotional. Because he's dating a white girl, and everytime brother hogs on indian food, I feel had he dated an Indian girl he could ear biryani any day and khichdi, khurma any meal. Ssh hope no one from the family reads this blog, specially the brother. 

Now, I don't know if I have this problem seeing my brother eat - I cry is a normal sister brother scenario or if it's just because some harmones are up and down and hitting wrong notes, making my heart go in wrong directions and creating some salty water flood in my eyes just because I am on a period. 

Why do women have to go through all this? Was the physical discomfort not enough that we have to go through mental torture too? 

One more thing I noticed is, I have a good connection with God, Almighty Allah, and when we are not allowed to pray in this time, I totally feel lost, unable to rely on someone that is the creator sitting up miles high sitting above 7 layers of sky watching us. It's so unfair to be not able to connect with him. They should have thought about some alternative, that hey if you are on your period, you cannot pray but you can still do bla bla bla. 

Now, if this hormonal imbalance thing is mixed with Monday blues, it makes a much worse combination. Double the worries, double the mountain of stress you carry on your shoulder and double the amount of time it takes one to fall sleep. Ugh!! 

I did share it with my sister and husband about how I felt. But..you can only complain so much and cry so much. Imagine, crying because 'brother can't eat indian food coz he's seeing someone who's not indian.' Sounds funny, but any tiny thing you would totally ignore on a normal day becomes as big problem as an issue which needs to be handled by UNO when a woman is on her period. 

I wish there was a way to handle it, other than over eating and blaming bloating when you cannot fit in your regular jeans. 

Hmm..that's all I had to rant. Hope mom/ brother doesn't come across this blog or they would kill me for disclosing personal issues in public. 

It's more than a place where you live!

8 years, 6 moves and two temporary moves, makes it 8 years and 8 times I moved my house and myself. Sounds tiring! Moving is no fun and the more I try to avoid it, the more I have to do it..but luckily I have had people to help every time I moved. Friends calling for lunch/dinner and neighbors offering free chai/coffee 24*7. Thanks God for people around me so special!

Friends are friends for everyone. But for me friends are categorized, like friends who are actual friends, friends who you can put your head on shoulder and cry (almost close to 2.5 or 3 now, decreasing as I grow old..), friends who can drop you to airport, friends who can cook for you and friends who can help you move! Haha

As I just finished my move yesterday, I was telling my sister I feel home sick. Sad about not having my own stuff around. All my stuff is in storage, it will be in storage for a month now and I feel so useless and bored. When I was moving, I was happy that I don’t have to cook anymore, no dishes to do and no need to worry about the biggest question in the world - ‘ what do I take for lunch?’ 

There’s a trip waiting for me tomorrow, for Mexico and boy I am sad about not having pots to stir for a month and dishes to do. 

Now that I am writing this, it makes things simple and not weird. I did plan to catch up on all the Netflix on my list and watch all the desi movies which have been pending to watch in my list from almost last year, it goes back to Padmavat, so you know I have a lot of desi movies to watch haha!

Past 4-5 years, I lived in a heavily desi populated community and moving from the area makes me feel weird, the freedom to knock neighbors door and ask for an onion or sugar, you get it nowhere, I felt I wouldn’t do that even if I was in India. But, being in a country, which is not your own, by default desi neighbors become your to - go 24*7 grocery store and cafe where free chai is served anytime of the day.

As each room was getting emptied, I had flashes of memories with my parents sitting in the hall watching tv, sister cooking, brother demanding the food he wanted (as usual) and me just feeling stressed out about being planning things. This apartment was special because my parents spent their 4 months here, my sister lived with me.. my brother visited us every time something good was cooked 😛. In short, I had my family except my sister. It felt like we were at home, it didn't feel any different. It felt good to see papa relax watching Netflix all day. It felt good seeing mom bonding with the neighboring aunty. The only person who kind of suffered was my sister who loves cooking and was responsible to cook. I got away from cooking by cooking few bad dishes. Hahah. 

Moreover, this was the house where I got engaged and married. It will  always remain special, because it was in this house, I and siva exchanged rings. 

With all the furniture gone, I sat down on floor and ate my last meal in the house yesterday, it was so emotional, to be eating alone in a place where we had delicious feasts, parties for friends. It reminded me of all the good food I ate when mom and dad were there. The only bad memory I had was my sister being alone in the house, worried, always crying  when we were all gone to India and when dad was sick.

I felt I got detached from it once I made a trip to India with parents and when I returned there was no one, Parents went back to India, sister found a job and moved to Chicago. So, it always had those good memories and not having them around in the place made the place a little hollow.

All in all, I will miss it, I will miss the swimming pool and Gym view. It always had a lot of people coming and kept me entertained in fall and summer. Also, I will miss the free coffee I use to have every morning  with no guilt in leasing office,. 😛 I literally use to check from my window if the leasing office was open and I can go dunk my cup of coffee.

Anyways, I can't wait to make another place a home with beautiful memories, this time maybe live a little longer and try to break my own record of moving every year.

What I wanted to do, but what I ended up doing?

What I wanted to do, but what I ended up doing?

So, this title has been buzzing in my mind for past 3 days and I take my phone thinking I should write, rant about it but I let it go.

Anyhow, there's been a lot of activity about people protesting immigration reform the whole trump era, and I have been noticing a lot of it because I joined few groups on facebook which work on the social causes. Facebook is good for something at least, this is the #1 resource for me at least to know what organizations exist and what are they working on. I stopped using it years ago, but to know what events are happening in the city and for other groups etc, this is my one stop shop. I wish something better existed.

So, a lot of people have been protesting against what Mr Trump has been doing - new rules for deporting people, banning DACA etc. There have been rallies/ protests to stop this and every time I wanted to join one, I would either not be in town or the protests would be so far, like drive for an hour, which I am too lazy to do.

There's been pilgrimage's, a bunch of people walking holding sign boards, walking for a cause, to make people aware and stand up for a cause (Yes, exactly like how Gandhiji did it to shoo the Britishers). There's been 2 of them so far, both protesting immigration reform and I missed both of them. One was for Ded, from an Albanian family, fighting not to go back, there was a 90 mile march and I wished to join atleast a part of it, it was for 7 days and 1 of the days they were right by my house, in a temple, they stopped for lunch/dinner, I felt so bad when I saw this. I could have atleast met them, showed some support, but did not happen.

The second protest was for Shaheeda, a lady from Pakistan, who has been here for 40 years, raised kids, sent them to school here and worked here as caregiver. She was due to be deported in March this year, but she's seeking sanctuary in a Church and people of city where she lived are supporting her. There was a march for Shaheeda this tuesday, day time, I debated again if I should go, I looked up where the march was taking place, an hour away from where I live, in the capital. I thought I will take a day off from work and stand in support for this aunty, but I just woke up the next day and went to work like everyday.

Sometimes, it makes me think  until when we should just kill our thoughts and desires and just do the same routine which can wait the next day to be done unlike the opportunities to stand up and make our voice count.

If you would like to support Shaheeda, here's the link:

https://www.gofundme.com/letherstay

More about her..

https://firstcongregationalkzoo.org/saheeda/#faq

I hope and pray she wins this fight.

Random things.

This guy has his travel mode ON. The shades he wore had lense of two colors, one blue the other green. How cool is that? 

I can never have that look on.

So..I am waiting at the airport. Abiding my ritual of pick up/ drop off someone at airport atleast twice a month. I realized no matter what season it is everyone month I go to the airport atleast twice. 

Coming back to the cool guy at airport. I wish to be him atleast on one trip, not having worries to lose passport or get scared about not being picked up by anyone at the airport or losing luggage. 

It's back to school season, lot of kids arriving for school being picked up by fellow school mates. I get to see some crazy tattoos and hair colors with this excuse.

I just figured there's no app for blogger in apple app store.

There's something about Rain - II .

When I was about to start this blog I didn't know there was a ' something about Rain ' post already. When I logged in I found that -hey the lst time I wrote was when it was raining. so. there's some connection between rain and me writing for sure. Rain gets me too philosophical to write.

It reminds me of the deck at my home upstairs where we would often hangout, just sit and chat for hours, then there would be a fight for who'll go get water to drink coz we have been there for too long.

I would sneak into the neighbors house who had a big backyard, chickens roaming around..I have not seen people had chickens in there houses after 2005 maybe..but these neighbors had chickens roaming in their backyard back in 2010..I don't know if they still do. Not that it's a bad thing but, hey you have a big back yard then why not have some extra hobbies. I always complained that they should have some vegetation going, but...

It just rained here..all the swoosh foosh sounds of breeze moving the trees which I was enjoying now replaced by the water falling from the roof, which I am not a big fan of. Now there will be traffic jams and a delay when I go get my morning coffee. 

Didn't know I would miss small things like this about home. Anyways, I didn't realize there was no app for blogger on iPhone, which is terrible.Because I had to open my laptop to write this one.

Before I sign off, I am listening to 'Cyrus says' podcast these days, Cyrus has his same old humor style till now. It feels so good to listen him, brings back memories of time when you used to feel cool just by watching 'MTV' haha. There's so much difference in the style of humor of different people, this guy can insult you and make you laugh at the same time but others like 'Tanmay Bhatt' cannot! I never liked that guy and I was never a fan of AIB, I preferred the Viral TVF over AIB all the time.

Well..have to dive into worldly things to keep the day going..so I am going to take an off right now.

(I almost sound like a Radio jockey in this post, I realized. Blogger is that dear to me,I feel like I am talking to another person, it's close to my heart. :D)

Live Love Life.

06/05/2013

The week has not end yet, I wish it was friday, having no rest over the weekend's left me drained and dull leaving no energy and a little excitement for my Mom's coming this weekend, its this weekend omg! I can't believe it. Time to fill up all the things I was missing, right now all I can remember is Good Food.

Ok! I have mixed feelings right now, I didn't start this blog to write about how excited I am for Moms coming here, I have been thinking about a lot of things, one thing particularly's been bothering me. I have been hearing about a lot of deaths recently and its weird how you come to know about them - Facebook?! Bizarre. A friend of mine update her status - How do I forget you? Please Pray for her to get  forgiven from Allah. I was shocked, I asked her what happened she replied, her colleague, also a  good friend committed suicide. I didn't have anything to say because I didn't know her. A day and two she kept different statuses on facebook expressing her feeling about her sad demise. I felt bad, I kept thinking how life ends and nothing remains. This wasn't even over and three days later I am browsing Facebook in the evening after work and I see an NDTV update 'Actress Jia Khan commits suicide.'  I liked Nishabd so much, she was paired with  Amitabh Bachchan and she was in Ghajini too..I found her to be more sane than the other British born actresses like Katrina and others.

What drives someone to extreme steps like this? I don't know if the film industry is so depressing in itself, this is not the first time an actress/model have committed a suicide, back in days I remember I used to see a pretty face on TV and I think she was in CID too, Kuljeet Randhawa , she ended her life the same way. Something like this happened in my under grad days and one of our lecturers came and talked to the class, she said ending life is not the solution, there's so much to see. It was so kind of her to do that, we had few class mates fighting with their parents for the relationships, playing with razors in their hands. May be this should be added in the curriculum at school, teaching the importance of life.

Depression is such a bad state, family support is all you need at that time, I remember when I was trying to find a job after a few rejections I was so depressed, I used to break things,  first thing I break glass second thing I want to see something red. It all depends on how much you love your life, hate yourself and that's all, you have lost it. Few people just can't take failure.

Whenever I am in a bad state, tired, angry I remember one thing my friend said ' This too shall pass.' So all the depressed souls hold on. Another thing that helps specially if you are living alone, surround yourself with your friends, talk to your parents, get support, keep faith in God.

Just wanted to write, I know I'm not good at consulting. :(
As I write this blog and google things, I see that a fifth standard boy committed suicide watching the news reports repeatedly. Weird! I should wrap up this blog.

PS I just read- MJ's daughter attempts suicide :\

The Day - May 12, 2012.

May 13/ 2013

It's been a year we graduated, life's very different now. While giving me the degree Dr Grace said 'No more late night studies,' he was right. It was end of late night studies, getting off work early to finish the home work, no more skipping meals and living on monster drinks. Sometimes I miss all that, when I see students in the university, I don't go there often but I don't miss any chance to go there. Two days back I attended the graduation ceremony of few friends, no doubt it was super fun, let me correct myself not as fun as my Graduation day was, I know I will never stop comparing and proving my thing the best and yes I don't like it when people compare my things or me to something else.

I was such a jerk to not write a blog on my Graduation, I remember sis and few friends told me to write one, but it took long to get back to blogging, well I at least started writing again, I am glad. When I was asking the tickets from Dorrie, our favorite International Student adviser, I asked her what time do we come in she said 'the same time as you did,' I was dumbstruck -What time did we go? All I remembered was my stomach ache, it hurt so much, no food for 5 hours, not even water. When we came out of the arena, people were congratulating us and I so much wanted to get out of there and calm my stomach.

I remember sis kept telling me 'Its your day, you have to look the best and you have to party hard.' We didn't have anything decided all we knew was our seniors were going to attend the ceremony, none of our parents had come for the ceremony. It was very nice of our seniors to attend and make it memorable, I felt so blessed to have them when I attended my juniors(not really juniors but they graduated after us, so..)Commencement and realized what their presence really meant.

I remember I got up early at six thirty or seven, keeping in mind my hair have to be straight-straight  like a bamboo stick not like noodles or Shahnaaz Hussain( not insulting her, her hair are great but I don't like them cos I got the same kind of hair). I got ready early because I knew I have to go on Skype and see my parents on the big day, I logged in and saw that they're not online, I called them and guess what, my sister told me they cannot come online because the transformer blasted because of the overload the neighbors put as there  was a marriage in the adjacent house. I cursed the neighbor to death, forget about they were celebrating an important function before marriage and its all dark in their house, my parents couldn't see me on the special day nor they would be able to watch the ceremony online was my sorrow. My elder sister came online and she took pictures and sent to the potter sister and also posted on Facebook, she told me that my hair were too dry and need serum, I rushed to Walgreens and got two varieties of  it, just in case if one didn't work.

Our super senior friend picked us in his SUV, we reached the venue and wore the gown, it was a special feeling, I don't think I can ever feel so proud wearing something but this was it. I was worried that my mood might spoil cause along with me were few unwanted faces walking in the ceremony too..but it didn't effect at all. I was saddened by the fact that everyone's parents were watching the live telecast of the ceremony and my parents were in dark..hah..I now remember they were not in dark, they were attending the neighbors function.

I see the pictures at least once a month and when I attended the ceremony last week everything just came out like live, I was seeing myself walking, so happy waving hands at my friends who were cheering us, taking pictures. I was seeing my juniors and I felt that they sad/tensed or nervous, I was waving hands seeing them but they all were just walking, I actually don't know if they were able to see us in so much crowd.

It was an experience I never want to forget except the stomach ache part. I still didn't see my degree with a feeling of achievement, I only saw it when I had to scan and send it to someone, waiting for Mom to see it first and then I can see it, I know she deserves it more than anyone.

Emoshnal!

Every time a dear friend of mine visits India I have packages going out and coming in. I remember when I went to India last year I didn't take anything from anyone, I didn't have room in my bags for someone else's packages. 

The first time I sent something home from here was  in 2010 in December when papa used to send me dollars for my expenses, I used to be so thrifty then. Sri who left yesterday for India took my things and messed everything-I was so angry he gave my chocolates to someone else and gave someone else's snickers(I don't like them) to my family. I had such a worst expression when someone was getting snickers to send it to India and imagine the same chocolates went to my family. When my parents showed me what all he gave them I cried saying-'he gave snickers to you guys, who sends snickers to India? I didn't send them.' Papa tried explaining me that I should be glad that he took my things and not complaint.The guy messed up with things because he was carrying so many things for 5 people to India. 

Even last year when he went to India Mom sent so many things for me, Pickles, sweets and some traditional dresses. Anyone who'd go to India I tell them to get sweets and Pickle, I didn't even spare my team lead, I don't know if he got it or not, he came back just yesterday. I hope he gets it because the stock mom sent me last time's almost coming to an end. Oh! oh! wait day before yesterday one of my friend in Texas couriered  me a package it had Gongura(leafy vegetable) pickle, he told he remembered how much I liked it when I ate it when he was here, he moved to California otherwise I'd have no scarcity of pickles in my shelf. 

So, this time when Sri was going to India, I had some stuff to send to my family, my sister aka potter sis sent me a big list, excuse: she got hired in Google. Just kidding. The list had flat shoes, some blue color eye liner, body wash and all girly things, when I asked her- do you want an Ipod she said 'No, I listen songs on my phone..' Grr! who'd say no to an I product? Even last time when I asked my elder sis who's found of reading books, if she wanted nook or kindle, she said-'No, I am not a gadget person' Huh! Even I'm not a gadget person, I still don't have a smart phone. But when I see people buying all the electronics for their siblings even I feel like buying them, my brother asks me for a lot of electronic things but I just trash all his requests because I think he's still young to use them. How ever he managed to make me order a google tablet, even my mom encouraged him saying ' Yes, you can get that, my colleague got that and she was even able to take phone calls on that' 

Last time Sri was caught in the immigration check and had to pay a huge money for all the gadgets he was carrying, so this time when I asked if he can take a tablet he first agreed and later told no. I was still sure that I can send it with him. His flight was initially on 14th Jan but he prepone his ticket to 9th. My tablet was getting shipped within 5 business days and I was sure it wont reach before he leaves, I was sad the whole day when I heard this. I was so excited about sending it. :(

He left for India and another friend of mine who was also sending his gifts to India told me he didn't take the shoes I got for my sister, my mind was just blown off when I heard this, I started yelling at the guy who told me this. I also cried when I told my sis on chat that he couldn't take shoes either. Sometime later I called him and fought on why he didn't take it, he said he didn't have room, he was again taking 5 peoples gifts and he didn't want to take 'SHOES'. I kept arguing trying to prove how bad he is. I have my Gmail online most of the time, my father tried calming me down he again told me that I should be glad that he at least took somethings of mine. I calmed down and called him and bid Bye.

I decided that from now on I will not send anything to India from any friends of mine..but then next month one more friend is going to India, he'll also be going to Delhi where my little niece is whose birthday is in March..what do I do?

Touch!

It's been so long I touched...touched someone with affection, devotion...touched someone without that 'Tujh me rab dikhta hai factor' :P
haha!Stop laughing this one again isn't a funny post...so!close that window of close up add.

I vividly remember the n- number of times I shook hands and tried to get that 'apna' feeling...the kind of feeling that went unnoticed when all those golden touches, hugs, kisses, pats, hits were around.

I wish I had an option of freezing....a freeze button and you sojourn in the moment...be there till you want.

Back home when I don't use to have mom beside me at night while sleeping...I used to hug a pillow and sleep. It was after two weeks I bought that extra pillow here, the cheapest one in meijer (2.5$ including taxes). The pillow's now become a papad in a week with a 20 kg or 40 pounds on it...that's my leg!duh!not to forget only one! Then I searched for a teddy bear in stores, cheapest teddy bear google search..but no! Teddies here aren't as cheap as pillows. :(
I wish I had a teddy with which I'd go to the university, take it around everywhere and grope anytime, anyone! :P

The first time I saw Bhargav Joshi(senior)...I so much felt like hugging him, he's one teddy bear in LTU- cuddly!Not like Mom, but he's got flesh on him so... :P
Yesterday I shook hands with him in a different way, not that casual shake...just to get that plump feeling. heheh I don't do that to everyone...I am not a weirdo!

Coming back to the touches...things I wouldn't let go, just to get that feeling....

* When starting for the airport, I wasn't able to find a hanky...so I grabbed Papa's hanky...
When I was unpacking here...I packed it in a transparent pouch, stapled it and it occupies a place beside the holy Quran and jaanmaz(prayer mat).

* Sisss!!!!! I wont remove the chain u put in my neck when I was almost ready to leave home...saying 'This is safety..'  how dare I remove it...My sis cried infront of me for the first time...the baby cried too..it's worth so many tears...how dare I remove it? I won't ever! never!! not for platinum or even Kohinoor.
Love you sis.stupid I am all tears...I didn't cry then coz I had reserved tears for now. Haha...I wonder if I should sit with  a tissue paper everytime I post..all my readers will be gone then and I'd rename my blog as Rotu's blog.

*The Pickle and the powder packets on which sis wrote in ink... 'Edible powder' haha!

Sadly nothing so silly from Mom and Humz and So!
I now understand why Rashmi deedi cried hugging mom when she was in Hyderabad. It appeared so silly then hugging someone else's mother and crying...Mom I miss the million dollar hugs of yours, I miss the way I used to put a leg and a hand on you and sleep. I now know how heavy I am...pity that pillow here.khehe!

* I also miss Jeetu's hugs smilies. :( Time difference doesn't allow even those '>:D<' lifeless smilies on net.

Miss all the hugs, touches, pats  and kisses.

Love you all..
Nameera.

P.S: the makhan in the Namz's blog page is not all gone...wait for the next blog, tissue paper country and The dreadful...r***** you'll get to know..well!keep guessing! ;)

Me- the special One.

Papa last night said-‘I’ll spend the whole day with you beta…we’ll do all the shoes n boots shopping..’

Someone got her F-1 VISA, who? Will let you know…perhaps, that’d be the next blog entry and the shopping has to be done coz there’s no way for poor dodo to stick on with her chappals abroad.

I wasn’t excited for the Paa company, coz you know Men!!!Hah! I have seen Bro and I have seen Jeejs too..it’s as if we’ll encounter an earth quake  if we don’t shop soon.

You readers must be laughing, at 22, girl talks about shopping with Papa. But  as I am very keen on Promises made/Word Given.. it does matter to me..and it’s not new..

The Last time Paa bought me something was a Citizen watch, when I passed my B.tech 2-1 Semester. Potter sis’s face went like a balloon then..and he bought a watch next day which was  + more times good than mine as Papa told Potter sis..you see the difference Gold stripes and Platinum stripes…no, Platinum/Gold doesn’t matter..what matters is when I secured  agood percentage why should someone else get the fruit..

Ttwo suits in 2008( Pink with bright blue buttons  and a green)Unfortunately it didn’t fit me and was given to  Perfect/made for only you younger sister(known to u as Potter Sis)

So that doesn’t count…The last time P shopped for me was two suits on Eid-2006( Green and Black which I still wear and Mom says it’s my Trademark  :P)

In 2004- Banglaore, when I met with an accident and was on bed rest, Paa said-‘ even you can wear it..’ when I said,’even I want the same…’when I saw him showing skirts and T’s for Potter Sis.

In 2003/02 when Sis was studying in Pune-Symbiosis when we went to meet her he promised me ten dresses in Bombay, but Mom thought we get much cheap and Best in Hyderabad…. everything can be cheap and best for Sis ,Potter sis, Mums bags everywhere. ya ya..If I have a good memory, there was a new member in family then, Chachu’s daughter and me being very selective my shopping list was pushed in the last and then Paa suddenly realized that it’s Winter and we should take winter clothing for the new born…

Before that was in class Seventh- My last Frock as a kiddo. I agree he shopped for me till I was in Class seventh..Frocks, Shoes matching Hair bands and Socks.

My account ends here.

The last time Pa shopped for Potter Sis was …

2010 July- first week, when everyone on phone were suggesting me to wear this that for my VISA interview. Pa came and handed over  ‘W’ stores cover to my sis, which my sis in turn gave  me thinking it was for me..haha

Last time he shopped for Potter Sis was every time she joined a new college…before commencement of every Academic..

Bags, Sandals, Clothes…

The last time Paa shopped for Sis..

You don’t know Sis..but he never shopped for anybody amongst us in home the way he did for you..

At the boots shop, he took your name first after Hums, me and So were just beside..

Every time he went to Bombay, the best textile of different colors and designs..

Frocks and her very first Jeans when we went to Shimla..

Yesterday, Paa gave Mom a Ten K and said ‘Shop for the shoes, I can’t come..you people do it in peace..’

Today while buying Luggage bags Mom inspite of my refusal asked Paa to come..and answer was the same…it’d take him time to reach the mall..

May be I am selfish, expect a lot but in the end I am a human being and we do need to the other side of the  coin..

Both the girls at home except me  have a perfect figure and a small size or even an M have much variety at stores…so may be I went unlucky here… :)


Aug-updated: Papa brings  a leather jacket couple of weeks ago in which two Nameeras would fit in.. :P

Those were the days....

Last days of my college..with the project's deadline on 15th,I've been working day in night out...though I didn't give my heart out in the project like the mini project,the project completion like always is a tedious job,specially when it comes to the documentation...

I know I'll fall asleep if there's no music's on..I avoided too slow music...and in the midst of the playlist comes this song-Maula mere from Anwar..and I stop working and come here and blog....

Recalling my first days in college...October '06
New people, new lecturers and with 7 subjects and 5 labs came lots and lots of assignments..the drawing Lab used to be arduous, a new assignment every week..maths was no less too..

So the time I used to complete these assignments was after ten,plugging in the radio.. people were not much into networking  those days,and something that took a toll in the city was the introduction of  new radio channels...People went crazy..children switching radio as soon as they're back from school(Even I used too), people driving to work,back home..,women cooking and lastly watchmen,  people on their night shifts and students like me..

We had these RJ'S Sameer and Chetan playing songs late night...I don't think I acn ever forget the way they used to say it 'suno sunao life banao...' it used to be fun, assignments on the other hand their P.J'S and music..music........it was this time I was mad,mad..really mad at this song, still I am!!The proof is the blog here...

I remember how I use to be hooked to the radio waiting for the song....my sister and I used to fight for the ear phones so much daily that papa bought us one more...

 Once it was around two at midnight..I completed my studies and wanted to listen to this number and I called the radio station...but the lines were busy..so I couldn't make it tried about fifteen minutes but..bad luck. :(

With the song Sameer and Chetan became favorite too...it was T20 world cup those days and they use to give the cricket updates whole night,poor fellas...every morning we used to discuss them in the bus and I used to sleep in the class,being up in the night late till 1-2:30. :P
I almost had tears on the last day of world cup...for we'd have no Sameer and Chetan whole night again...the demand was so much that they didn't take the show off air, it was only till twelve then...

Madness of Sameer and Chetan increased and we were excited to know how they look like?....The hunt was on..we went to the cafe to check if they had photos on their profiles,but no!
And then...one day my friend comes with a paper bag made out of a magazine...handling it carefully and there there was Chetan!He didn't look that bad..but girls.........!!ugh!
Later we saw Sameer too on Orkut.. heehehe he was a lean guy..
After few days   Sameer left the station...
I think Chetan's still on the job...it's been two years I heard him...

I never thought those days... struggling with the drafter and scales with the silly small machine playing music were actually so good!!
Today when I am  here.. writing this,having the choice to play any song I like any number of times..playing the same song almost the 21st time..  I don't get the same feeling....that happiness,that madness..
Coz there's no Sameer or Chetan, no assignments, no scales and charts,maths assignment and no radio!

Don't know where you both are..Sameer and Chetan,I was a big fan of yours and still I am....

Good old days I miss them...

Its The results time!!!!

15th Feb..
Two of my friends Paper presentation tomorrow..and I thought I shouldn't go sleep at home like a jerk!So..we went to our friends place and started work..Aunty who always urged us to eat!eat wasn't there at home unfortunately...
We started work..the date of PPT was given months ago but you see students 'born to be lazy attitude..'

We were rushing things and suddenly comes the phone of 'we fought last week we aren't much talking now' friend,I was surprised..why did she call..we haven't been talking much those days.This is the same friend who gives my result every time..It's been 4 years and not once did I see my result with my own eyes.I thought she always gave good results, so tell-a-result job was hers!always!

She said,'Results are Out!'
I always got my results when I am at home.I started wondering..What!Now?I am at someone else's place..I don't want everyone to hear a bad news.

Every time she gave me the results directly,this time she says 'I passed,server's slow..I'll let you know yours..'
University's official site hangs server at times like this..
We tried,tried from our place..I already told the two of them that..leave my results,I am unauthorized to do that.The lucky pigeon would give the good news..u see :P

We stopped working and I sat praying loudly to God..saying-'please God!please..'in my most annoying tones.Other friend played snakes on her phone and another was glued to the screen waiting for the site to display results.

Meanwhile,messages poured in-see my result too!What about my result..I too irritated my friend messaging,calling her every 1 minute 55 seconds.And she always sent a busy tone.

Phone rings!Tring!Tring!
(Not tring tring,my favorite,lucky(I believe) Harry potter tone,which I didn't change past one year)
She tells the same thing again..site's not working properly..I'll let you know.

I kept crying-'Mujhe last year me fail ni hona..main kya face dikhaongi apna agar kuch hoga toh..' and all..I shoot all emotional blackmail dialogues at times like this..coz I feel God's got Power to change things..Here they say-'A leaf wont move without Allah's wish'
so..You see ..I always try to patao God at the last moment.

Phone rings!
Pigeon says-'You Cleared them all..pass!'
I drank the glass of water which I kept aside saying, 'I wont drink it untill I hear my results..' :P

Then I again asked,if I really cleared all of them,Every time its the same fear..it's been three years,but our lecturers so much scared us saying,'Expect the Unexpected from JNTU!'
And ya..ya..they said it true.
The pigeon said 'You scored 75%'
This one's the highest %le I scored ever till now!I donno..I didn't feel that great..Coz there's much to be achieved,still...other than numbers on my memo sheet.

Ahem!Ahem!Other two friends of mine also cleared all their subjects.

I reached home about ten..and slept!It wasn't like any other results day.All so not happening.

Yesterday..I bunked my classes,you see friends PPT.
I came across one of my lecturer whose class I bunked,I ran out of her sight..
I got to hear from someone that the same lecturer was inquiring about me.My face changed color.

Today...
Another lecturer in the class,during attendance..
She started the roll call..my roll no.. Roll no 28!
I answered present..she raise her eyebrows and and said-'Heard you topped in EMI..'
I:I donno...mam I didn't see my marks yet.
She Shook her head in despair 'What men!You donno..'
The back benchers after me muttered-'yesterday mam was asking about her...she wanted to accolade her..'

This was the same lecturer from whose sight I ran yesterday,bunking the class.

I was shocked..EMI was the one in which I thought I'd flunk.And I remember I cursed JK coz he wished me luck before this exam and it went bad..and since then Whenever JK wishes me luck..I say,'Ho gaya satyanash..tu kyun bola best of luck..' :P


I felt great...!!great...marvellous!I felt a bit more like zero after a long time..long long time..

Thanks!thanks ..thanks Mam for letting everyone know that I topped.Though I wonder what she might have gossiped!She never concentrates in the class..how she might have topped?She never writes with a pen,how did she top?Or She never took my notes how she topped? ;P