Ok! Everyone knows this but can I take a moment and rant about it. Just because it's my moment and I chose to write about it. Just to vent it out?
No, it's not about politics. It's not about a fight or an argument. It's about a woman and her rush of extreme emotion of thoughts in her time of period.
On a normal day when I see my brother eat, I don't cry. I just feel he's born to eat, khaata peeta bacha hai..that's it. But this weekend, we were all together, me, my sister, brother and his gf and my husband. Desi family unions, you know all we do is eat. I ate too..to an extent and everyone did. But seeing my brother eat, I got very emotional. Because he's dating a white girl, and everytime brother hogs on indian food, I feel had he dated an Indian girl he could ear biryani any day and khichdi, khurma any meal. Ssh hope no one from the family reads this blog, specially the brother.
Now, I don't know if I have this problem seeing my brother eat - I cry is a normal sister brother scenario or if it's just because some harmones are up and down and hitting wrong notes, making my heart go in wrong directions and creating some salty water flood in my eyes just because I am on a period.
Why do women have to go through all this? Was the physical discomfort not enough that we have to go through mental torture too?
One more thing I noticed is, I have a good connection with God, Almighty Allah, and when we are not allowed to pray in this time, I totally feel lost, unable to rely on someone that is the creator sitting up miles high sitting above 7 layers of sky watching us. It's so unfair to be not able to connect with him. They should have thought about some alternative, that hey if you are on your period, you cannot pray but you can still do bla bla bla.
I did share it with my sister and husband about how I felt. But..you can only complain so much and cry so much. Imagine, crying because 'brother can't eat indian food coz he's seeing someone who's not indian.' Sounds funny, but any tiny thing you would totally ignore on a normal day becomes as big problem as an issue which needs to be handled by UNO when a woman is on her period.
I wish there was a way to handle it, other than over eating and blaming bloating when you cannot fit in your regular jeans.
Hmm..that's all I had to rant. Hope mom/ brother doesn't come across this blog or they would kill me for disclosing personal issues in public.
2 comments:
I totally get it. Small things end up feeling big in those days. I have the same feelings. Saturday all day I was grumpy for no reason and all day thinking "why am i grumpy. just stop." But hey about praying, I feel its a mercy we don't have any requirement to wake up, get up, make wudu, pray during these days because its a difficult and tiring time so physically we get a much needed break from that by Allah's mercy. The other part about spiritual connection, we actually are encouraged to keep on doing other practices like dhikr and reciting duaas and kalimas or simply just talking to Allah. Its actually nice if we take advantage of it cause being freed up from prayer means we can transfer our energy (whatever we have) to other practices that will build spiritual connection. Cause otherwise if we stayed busy in normal prayers always we would not try new things. When you feel that loss of prayer just pray with words to Allah anyways. Hope you feel better otherwise! It's a good time to relax, eat some chocolate, and indulge in some comforting things.
OK..good advice. Just cant make that spiritual connection during that time somehow. But, I will try inshaAllah.
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