Where do we belong?

Ah! I am too lazy to write big blogs or write stories I guess, I have been trying to write about my New York trip with Mom for days but I kept postponing it. I have something for now.

I have ignored a lot of things since mom came, things in my kitchen, refrigerator, my small plants I've been trying to grow out of little things. Mom was looking for cracked wheat to make Haleem (my favorite Ramadaan dish) and I searched my whole kitchen and couldn't find it, while hunting for it I found so many things which expired and needs to be thrown away. I have barely cooked twice-thrice since mom came.

Realizing how I neglected everything, I first went to see my plants, my green onion was dry and dying, I remember I planted an onion just cos it started giving green shoots and thought this will give spring onions and I can use the green leaves for Chinese. I went and dug in the pot and I found a new tiny onion bulb, I kept digging looking for the onion I planted, I couldn't see a trace of the onion peel or anything of the onion I planted. I was astonished by the way nature destroys, heals, gain back stability.
We come from the soil and go back into it...we all in some form go back there irrespective of religion or gender.
Sorry, if this was depressing.

Live Love Life.

06/05/2013

The week has not end yet, I wish it was friday, having no rest over the weekend's left me drained and dull leaving no energy and a little excitement for my Mom's coming this weekend, its this weekend omg! I can't believe it. Time to fill up all the things I was missing, right now all I can remember is Good Food.

Ok! I have mixed feelings right now, I didn't start this blog to write about how excited I am for Moms coming here, I have been thinking about a lot of things, one thing particularly's been bothering me. I have been hearing about a lot of deaths recently and its weird how you come to know about them - Facebook?! Bizarre. A friend of mine update her status - How do I forget you? Please Pray for her to get  forgiven from Allah. I was shocked, I asked her what happened she replied, her colleague, also a  good friend committed suicide. I didn't have anything to say because I didn't know her. A day and two she kept different statuses on facebook expressing her feeling about her sad demise. I felt bad, I kept thinking how life ends and nothing remains. This wasn't even over and three days later I am browsing Facebook in the evening after work and I see an NDTV update 'Actress Jia Khan commits suicide.'  I liked Nishabd so much, she was paired with  Amitabh Bachchan and she was in Ghajini too..I found her to be more sane than the other British born actresses like Katrina and others.

What drives someone to extreme steps like this? I don't know if the film industry is so depressing in itself, this is not the first time an actress/model have committed a suicide, back in days I remember I used to see a pretty face on TV and I think she was in CID too, Kuljeet Randhawa , she ended her life the same way. Something like this happened in my under grad days and one of our lecturers came and talked to the class, she said ending life is not the solution, there's so much to see. It was so kind of her to do that, we had few class mates fighting with their parents for the relationships, playing with razors in their hands. May be this should be added in the curriculum at school, teaching the importance of life.

Depression is such a bad state, family support is all you need at that time, I remember when I was trying to find a job after a few rejections I was so depressed, I used to break things,  first thing I break glass second thing I want to see something red. It all depends on how much you love your life, hate yourself and that's all, you have lost it. Few people just can't take failure.

Whenever I am in a bad state, tired, angry I remember one thing my friend said ' This too shall pass.' So all the depressed souls hold on. Another thing that helps specially if you are living alone, surround yourself with your friends, talk to your parents, get support, keep faith in God.

Just wanted to write, I know I'm not good at consulting. :(
As I write this blog and google things, I see that a fifth standard boy committed suicide watching the news reports repeatedly. Weird! I should wrap up this blog.

PS I just read- MJ's daughter attempts suicide :\

I donno!

It would sound dramatic,if i start with ..."Main aisi kyun hoon..main aisi kyun hoon..."
but I really mean it...

It's gotta do with decision making..

I wonder,what I'd do if there was no one to take a decision..
thanks Ma pa..;)

caution:
If you've got any work,you can please switch it on to the other side..
I am trying to figure out things I know ;)

I donno-series one:

1:What do you think this dress would suit me?
--I donno..take it if you like it..U are the one who's gonna wear it na..
(I've never choose a single dress for myself till now..though I am 20!I want Ma or humz to be always beside me...I come empty hands when ever I went alone to shop!)

2:What should I prepare for the dinner?
--check what's there in fridge no..
***No comments**

3:Hey!you coming to college tomorrow eh?
--I donno lets see..if i get up early..
(I remember,the number of times I ditched my friends by turning up to the college,saying I wouldn't!)
**sorry for that,all you!**


Ah...there's a sense of positivity..
I can't remember anything more..which I believed I didn't knew.. :O

The blog Is getting contradictory eh?
or I gave up under estimating Myself?

ah..I donno..
^^^was this supposed to take a point number 4? :D

stop those ah..huhh's!I cautioned you,didn't I?

The weirdest and funniest(sounds to me though shameful) was:
In a chat:
Me:How are you?
Sis:I am good,how are you?You still don't know..no?