It's more than a place where you live!

8 years, 6 moves and two temporary moves, makes it 8 years and 8 times I moved my house and myself. Sounds tiring! Moving is no fun and the more I try to avoid it, the more I have to do it..but luckily I have had people to help every time I moved. Friends calling for lunch/dinner and neighbors offering free chai/coffee 24*7. Thanks God for people around me so special!

Friends are friends for everyone. But for me friends are categorized, like friends who are actual friends, friends who you can put your head on shoulder and cry (almost close to 2.5 or 3 now, decreasing as I grow old..), friends who can drop you to airport, friends who can cook for you and friends who can help you move! Haha

As I just finished my move yesterday, I was telling my sister I feel home sick. Sad about not having my own stuff around. All my stuff is in storage, it will be in storage for a month now and I feel so useless and bored. When I was moving, I was happy that I don’t have to cook anymore, no dishes to do and no need to worry about the biggest question in the world - ‘ what do I take for lunch?’ 

There’s a trip waiting for me tomorrow, for Mexico and boy I am sad about not having pots to stir for a month and dishes to do. 

Now that I am writing this, it makes things simple and not weird. I did plan to catch up on all the Netflix on my list and watch all the desi movies which have been pending to watch in my list from almost last year, it goes back to Padmavat, so you know I have a lot of desi movies to watch haha!

Past 4-5 years, I lived in a heavily desi populated community and moving from the area makes me feel weird, the freedom to knock neighbors door and ask for an onion or sugar, you get it nowhere, I felt I wouldn’t do that even if I was in India. But, being in a country, which is not your own, by default desi neighbors become your to - go 24*7 grocery store and cafe where free chai is served anytime of the day.

As each room was getting emptied, I had flashes of memories with my parents sitting in the hall watching tv, sister cooking, brother demanding the food he wanted (as usual) and me just feeling stressed out about being planning things. This apartment was special because my parents spent their 4 months here, my sister lived with me.. my brother visited us every time something good was cooked 😛. In short, I had my family except my sister. It felt like we were at home, it didn't feel any different. It felt good to see papa relax watching Netflix all day. It felt good seeing mom bonding with the neighboring aunty. The only person who kind of suffered was my sister who loves cooking and was responsible to cook. I got away from cooking by cooking few bad dishes. Hahah. 

Moreover, this was the house where I got engaged and married. It will  always remain special, because it was in this house, I and siva exchanged rings. 

With all the furniture gone, I sat down on floor and ate my last meal in the house yesterday, it was so emotional, to be eating alone in a place where we had delicious feasts, parties for friends. It reminded me of all the good food I ate when mom and dad were there. The only bad memory I had was my sister being alone in the house, worried, always crying  when we were all gone to India and when dad was sick.

I felt I got detached from it once I made a trip to India with parents and when I returned there was no one, Parents went back to India, sister found a job and moved to Chicago. So, it always had those good memories and not having them around in the place made the place a little hollow.

All in all, I will miss it, I will miss the swimming pool and Gym view. It always had a lot of people coming and kept me entertained in fall and summer. Also, I will miss the free coffee I use to have every morning  with no guilt in leasing office,. 😛 I literally use to check from my window if the leasing office was open and I can go dunk my cup of coffee.

Anyways, I can't wait to make another place a home with beautiful memories, this time maybe live a little longer and try to break my own record of moving every year.

What happens when you come back from india?

Hello fellow bloggers/ Readers,

It doesn't feel that alien'ish to be writing again. I think it's all about writing when your heart feels like.

So, here I am lying on bed all by myself at home on a cold dull afternoon..it's been a good eight months I did not live alone with no one around and all u can hear now is echos of the wall clock sound, been surrounded by family almost throughout the year and it feels so strange to be back alone single, specially after being married. (Announcing that I am married to the blogger world, doubting if any of the old readers still reading).

So confused what to crib about, about being alone or about not being with family around or about not being in India. I will start with the latter, it's weird how you get used to living in a place, every time I go to India, before I get used to living there it's time to fly back. This year after almost 7.5 years being in US, I got to spend 3 months in India. That's almost not possible to stay that long in your own country for the type of visa rules they have, if you reside in US not having a green card/ citizenship. But, this time because of a family emergency, I preferred staying back and being with family in tough times. Being there and sailing through all that just made me think every moment - ' would they be able to deal with all this if I wasn't there?' Not that I did much, but being there with family and making yourself count made me feel my existence. I kept thinking, if I go back, how can they deal with things like this?

When I was coming back, in the flight on the TV screen I kept going to the flight tracker and check how far I have gone. I kept zooming into India and tried zooming in where it spotted Hyderabad, how much ever I would zoom in, I couldn't see the streets or my house.

One day, I told my dad that I would install a CCTV camera at home in the hall, so that I can see what is going on at home and if papa is eating his food on time and not skipping meals because of some silly argument he'd have with mom.

As I sit in my bedroom or hall and look at things, it reminds me of things scattered everywhere..mom's knitting kit, sister's laptop or random sweaters and shawls here and there, seeing all of it, I would complain and gather everything and put it back in place. The empty tables and chairs  look so boring and lifeless now. 

There's a lot I miss and a lot to complain, from having no luxury to keep manju ( maid back home) or our skinny short driver Arif. I am back to having to drive myself to work and clean the dishes that's been lying from the last supper I cooked. That craving of daal and chawal never fades away after you travel and you are back home wanting some comfort food. The responsibility to cook for yourself everyday and eat whatever to survive is no fun, I hardly remember going in kitchen and cooking or doing dishes past 6-8 months..mom, sis would do it all. I miss the luxury of just going to the kitchen and scoop out food and eat and also complain if bhendi was cooked
or if mom messed up the kadhi. 

All in all, it is going to take me more time than ever to recover from this trip and I am going to miss every moment spent in the past 8 months. I would re- live bits of it by scrolling on to the pictures on my phone and that is all.

Hope it wasn't that sad of a post for you all to read.

Touch!

It's been so long I touched...touched someone with affection, devotion...touched someone without that 'Tujh me rab dikhta hai factor' :P
haha!Stop laughing this one again isn't a funny post...so!close that window of close up add.

I vividly remember the n- number of times I shook hands and tried to get that 'apna' feeling...the kind of feeling that went unnoticed when all those golden touches, hugs, kisses, pats, hits were around.

I wish I had an option of freezing....a freeze button and you sojourn in the moment...be there till you want.

Back home when I don't use to have mom beside me at night while sleeping...I used to hug a pillow and sleep. It was after two weeks I bought that extra pillow here, the cheapest one in meijer (2.5$ including taxes). The pillow's now become a papad in a week with a 20 kg or 40 pounds on it...that's my leg!duh!not to forget only one! Then I searched for a teddy bear in stores, cheapest teddy bear google search..but no! Teddies here aren't as cheap as pillows. :(
I wish I had a teddy with which I'd go to the university, take it around everywhere and grope anytime, anyone! :P

The first time I saw Bhargav Joshi(senior)...I so much felt like hugging him, he's one teddy bear in LTU- cuddly!Not like Mom, but he's got flesh on him so... :P
Yesterday I shook hands with him in a different way, not that casual shake...just to get that plump feeling. heheh I don't do that to everyone...I am not a weirdo!

Coming back to the touches...things I wouldn't let go, just to get that feeling....

* When starting for the airport, I wasn't able to find a hanky...so I grabbed Papa's hanky...
When I was unpacking here...I packed it in a transparent pouch, stapled it and it occupies a place beside the holy Quran and jaanmaz(prayer mat).

* Sisss!!!!! I wont remove the chain u put in my neck when I was almost ready to leave home...saying 'This is safety..'  how dare I remove it...My sis cried infront of me for the first time...the baby cried too..it's worth so many tears...how dare I remove it? I won't ever! never!! not for platinum or even Kohinoor.
Love you sis.stupid I am all tears...I didn't cry then coz I had reserved tears for now. Haha...I wonder if I should sit with  a tissue paper everytime I post..all my readers will be gone then and I'd rename my blog as Rotu's blog.

*The Pickle and the powder packets on which sis wrote in ink... 'Edible powder' haha!

Sadly nothing so silly from Mom and Humz and So!
I now understand why Rashmi deedi cried hugging mom when she was in Hyderabad. It appeared so silly then hugging someone else's mother and crying...Mom I miss the million dollar hugs of yours, I miss the way I used to put a leg and a hand on you and sleep. I now know how heavy I am...pity that pillow here.khehe!

* I also miss Jeetu's hugs smilies. :( Time difference doesn't allow even those '>:D<' lifeless smilies on net.

Miss all the hugs, touches, pats  and kisses.

Love you all..
Nameera.

P.S: the makhan in the Namz's blog page is not all gone...wait for the next blog, tissue paper country and The dreadful...r***** you'll get to know..well!keep guessing! ;)