Types of...

Note:

I wrote this sometime last year, just before new years, a lot of times my blogs end up being on my cell phone. While I wait for the clock to hit 3 /3:30, i thought I will just post this and make use of my time here in this miserable place..(not giving a lot of details..people who know knows, it's a mystery for others. Yay! Can I write mystery novels?)

Actual Blog Begins..

I came out of my apartment (rather call it a den or cave coz I haven’t gone out in three days, sleeping like a bear, lazing around), thinking I will go to the gym. But I felt I am carrying a lot in my chest and it’s got to be out somehow..

I have always find myself in two stages - running away from people - hiding or lonely with no one to talk or hang out with. I don’t know which one’s  worst, because I am experiencing the latter, I’d say being lonely is worst.

It’s that time of the year when you try to pretend not to be gloomy plugging in few lights, lighting candles or baking, cinnamon and nutmeg aroma in the air. There’s a void we try to fill in with all the different smells and lights, don’t ask me what the void is, I thought it was the sun, but maybe not, because this time we had a lot of sun whole winter. Alhumdulillah for that, otherwise I would be whining  at a different scale right now.

When I wasn’t wise and I didn’t even have a strand of grey hair I told a friend something, maybe it was bad of me to do that, but I told her that there are different types of friends, the real ones who will stand by you, be there for you, be there for you however far you are and will still talk with you the same way as he or she would, regardless of the time spent apart from each other and the second are the social/namesake ones(this may sound so bad..but trust me they exist!) who’d be your go to for when you/they need some entertainment, not necessarily you can go to them when you wanna cry or share worries. The third kind are the hi and bye ones. As I grew up I learnt there are more to these categories, because  there is technology and us humans have almost forgotten how to talk and express feelings, there are instagram or Facebook/Snapchat friends, they would reply to you when you post something, but when it would come to talking/meeting, being a little real coz we are humans after all, they would shy away. I don’t wanna blame anyone, maybe they’re going through a bad phase or they’re in one of the phases where they wanna be hiding. But this is another category I found. Thanks Zuckerberg!

One thing I realized is that the best time and the most awesome conversations I have always had were over a cup of tea/coffee, sometimes I would feel stuck sitting in a restaurant on a table for couple of hours, but not return as satisfied. But chai conversations are always best, be it with mom on skype when I am having my morning coffee or chai with neighbors when I would run into their house just for something and they’d just make me sit for hours with chai.

It's weird as I think now, at some point I had blogger friends and orkut (the social media platform dead and buried two years ago if you remember?) friends too, each platform had different friends. It's weird, but sometimes I felt solace in chatting with a stranger than talking or chatting with people around me, yes! Call me a weirdo! Maybe, it was the fear of being judged! Maybe! Today's generation wouldn't know this, or maybe they do, in the name of tinder or dating websites.

Anyways, as I grow I feel the number of friends I have are getting to a negative scale now, forget about not finding any new ones, it's difficult to make friends in a foreign country, maybe it's just the age, it's difficult to maintain even the existing ones.

When I was writing this, I was just thinking where's everyone? why's no one with me at this moment? Is it so hard to get someone's time? I don't no..

I left the title incomplete, didn't want to sound a kindergartenish type of blogger..